Painted Desperation

by Reward

/
1.
05:16
2.
03:30
3.
04:16
4.
05:23
5.
04:10

about

Written in the summer of 2013.
Recorded at Overlook Studios in the fall of 2013-winter of 2014.

credits

released June 24, 2014

Recorded and Produced by Bruce Wiegner.
Mastered by Jay Maas.
Released on Mutant League Records June 24th, 2014.

All songs written and performed by Reward.

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Reward Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Seep
Collected regrets, gathered through time
The comfort that I preach is buried by the process
And I can't forget the days that I spent
Dodging caskets in my path

Now I
Call them my home
Complacency
Is my crutch

As the silence of night flows through my mind
I will seek the smallest hint of light
Until my regret slowly tears me apart from the inside out
I'll lay defeated and helpless

I'm wearing down to dust, solace is a must
As I watch myself waste away in the rearview
I'm grinding down my teeth, compelled to bear this hell
That I chose for my self

And I
Call it my home
Complacency
Is my crutch

As the silence of night flows through my mind
I will seek the smallest hint of light
Until my regret slowly tears me apart from the inside out
I'll lay defeated and helpless

I've buried myself here
And I can't be forgiven
One last breath of regret
Stay silent let it seep in

As the silence of night flows through my mind
I will seek the smallest hint of light
Until my regret slowly tears me apart from the inside out
I'll lay defeated and helpless
Track Name: Soft Teeth
Shit keeps piling up and it’s been wearing down my crutches
There’s no end in sight
And I’m losing my grasp on what’s been in mind
It’s casting its shadows on me
And it’s all just lies, and it’s all just lines
They’re shoving down my throat
And I can’t choke it down, can’t come to terms
I’m broken but I can’t find the words
Can’t find a path ahead
And I can’t be trusted with myself
It’s hard enough on my own
I’m fighting to let go
Of empty thoughts and broken dreams
My troubled mind could use some peace
Can’t find a path ahead
And I can’t be trusted with myself
Can’t find a path ahead
And I can’t be trusted with myself
Track Name: Teamocil
Let your body lay restless, I’ll keep mine shaking through the night
You can toss and turn and try to believe that this will all work out
But all I am is an empty bed, another worthless place to rest your head
To ignore the days as they pass by and hide from another boy
I should have never let you in
Torn apart from the inside out
There’s nowhere to go
When you depend on someone else
You’ve been sick, asleep, or drunk for weeks and it’s killing me what I see in you
Divided by the truth – you’ve stretched beyond your shoes – what did I do?
You took me for granted while he took you to bed
And I gave you some credit but for now I’m spent
I should have never let you in
Torn apart from the inside out
There’s nowhere to go
When you depend on someone else
If I’m alright, then you’re what’s wrong
And if I’m held back you’re what’s dragging me down
Track Name: Bob
Every day, I find my head is buried in the ground again
I can't see past the problems in my mind

And every day is a miracle through your eyes
You watch the sun break through the clouds, and cherish every moment in it

The window's closing on your fragile mental state
I see the life leaving your eyes with each passing day

I can't even think of you without a smile lighting up your face
I'm just the opposite -- I'm lost within myself
I'm burdened by regret, you never sin you don't repent
But still you live your life forever trapped within your mind

The window's closing on your fragile mental state
I see the life leaving your eyes with each passing day
Just like the sun that sets on you every night, your light will dissipate
Leaving darkness in your mind forever

And I can see you sinking deeper
Every time you close your eyes you're drifting further
And I can see your spirit fading
But keep your eyes to the rising sun; I need a hero

The window's closing on your fragile mental state
I see the life leaving your eyes with each passing day
Just like the sun that sets on you every night, your light will dissipate
Leaving darkness in your mind forever
Track Name: Hooked
My empty heart is lost for you to find
This haunting loneliness in my eyes
My dull and distraught, vulnerable thoughts
Have held me captive all these years
So go ahead, cut me open, take a look inside
I always need what I can't have

I find your eyes and never get enough
Painting desperation, fill my hollow mind (I don't want this, I need it)

Take an axe to my back; release the tension from my spine
Watch my body unwind upon the floor before your eyes
Gasping for life, the frigid air cuts my gums like a knife
But it's alright -- I'll just lay here and wait to die

I find your eyes and never get enough
Painting desperation, fill my hollow mind (I don't want this, I need it)
There's you, there's nothing I can do
It's where I go to hide (I don't want this, I need it)

It's you

It's you and I
There's nothing else keeping me alive